Quoted out of context - The "that's what she said" thread

MetalSoup

MetalSoup

There's a GIF for that
I've been wanting to this for a while. This is just a fun little thread for things people say that can sound very different or funny when taken out of context, or given new context.

For example: Here Wlad gives out some questionable advice on how to handle a cheating girlfriend:

Wlad said:
Just beat her, with some help of course. Hell Yeah!
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And an older one that's better with no context:

Mister 44 said:
I'll be happy if I just manage to beat McT in our pool :D
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Rules:

  1. The quote must be taken out of context, so if it was already meant as a joke, innuendo, or double entendre in context, it doesn't really count.
  2. There must be a link to the original quoted post.
  3. You're not allowed to change anything in original quote, you may only remove stuff that give context.
 
My best is quite possibly a "had to be there moment". but me and my friend (who's a girl) were at spur. and she was sitting near the waiter "station" area where the menus etc are (were still those big wooden ones). So basically the back of her chair is the front pocket for the menus.

The one waiter came past with like 5 and SLAMMED them into the thing, causing an almost alarming noise.

She looked at me and goes "jeez, I could feel it vibrating in my bum."

EDIT: OH, forum quote only...lame. well I submit mine anyway, screw you, we laughed for like 30 minutes after i did the obligatory "thats what she said".
 
mottamort said:
My best is quite possibly a "had to be there moment". but me and my friend (who's a girl) were at spur. and she was sitting near the waiter "station" area where the menus etc are (were still those big wooden ones). So basically the back of her chair is the front pocket for the menus.

The one waiter came past with like 5 and SLAMMED them into the thing, causing an almost alarming noise.

She looked at me and goes "jeez, I could feel it vibrating in my bum."

EDIT: OH, forum quote only...lame. well I submit mine anyway, screw you, we laughed for like 30 minutes after i did the obligatory "thats what she said".
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That's fine actually. That's pretty funny.
 
"These leaves are hard."
"You didn't hesitate."

Brownie points to the member that figures out (AKA already knows) where I've quoted this from.
 
Some much of goodness, all in one post by 8sh:
8sh said:
  • One size does not fit all.
  • A comfortable shape (necessary for long hours with minimal strain).
  • A wide surface area is always a welcome addition.
  • I blow the mouse. :eek:
  • Fits my hands so well.
  • High-capacity batteries are nice; the greater the capacity, the better.
  • I like round cup shapes.
  • Allows you to easily slip it off to one side.
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i know this is for in forum posts but i just thought of one from last night's ark session.

"I've got wood, I'm on my way"
 
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