Self sufficiency in today's youth and young adults

DenSweeP said:
Also, parents should provide their kids with the basic needs during their varsity days. Basic clothing and food and toiletries. But any other luxuries, fancy shoes and clothing labels and drinking money and kuier money etc, get a job you lazy bastard. And don't tell me there aren't any jobs. There is is always something somewhere. They might not always be glamarous, but money earned is money earned. I never received pocket money in high school and had to go out and deliver newspapers every morning all through high school. And after school I started making plaster of paris christmas ornaments and curtain tie backs etc to make more money. I always said I will never wait on someone, because I knew I would suck at it, so I found alternatives. There are jobs, just maybe not what suits you.
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There's just a time in your life when you just can't accept money from your folks anymore, hahaha! It just feels soooo wrong. :D
 
to0kenZA said:
There's just a time in your life when you just can't accept money from your folks anymore, hahaha! It just feels soooo wrong. :D
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I gave my inheritence to my little brother and sister from which my dad left us and I said that they should use it towards finishing school, because I know that I can sustain myself very easily. I just enjoy being at home from a perspective that I'm just so used to having people around me every single day and ja it would suck just chilling on my own...
 
Hey, I'm not judging anyone for staying with their folks, well except maybe Raven, but what I want to know is how does this affect your and their social lives? What if you folks wanna romp nude through the house or you wanna invite home that hottie you been dating for a while for some quality time?
 
shadowfox said:
Hah ... lately my mom borrows money from me :D
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Lol, same here! I have to pay the maid sometimes. Then my mom comes to me wanting to pay me back and I refuse to take the money :P

I caught her trying to sneak it into my wallet the one time but I just put it back in her's when she wasn't looking :D
 
sycogrim said:
I gave my inheritence to my little brother and sister from which my dad left us and I said that they should use it towards finishing school, because I know that I can sustain myself very easily. I just enjoy being at home from a perspective that I'm just so used to having people around me every single day and ja it would suck just chilling on my own...
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My folks have a good few years left in them so I'm not too worries about that. My boet is still busy with his degree at uni, but that shouldn't take too long. After that I think we're good :P

DenSweeP said:
Hey, I'm not judging anyone for staying with their folks, well except maybe Raven, but what I want to know is how does this affect your and their social lives? What if you folks wanna romp nude through the house or you wanna invite home that hottie you been dating for a while for some quality time?
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That only happens when you kap a bottle of shwishkey!
 
DenSweeP said:
Hey, I'm not judging anyone for staying with their folks, well except maybe Raven, but what I want to know is how does this affect your and their social lives? What if you folks wanna romp nude through the house or you wanna invite home that hottie you been dating for a while for some quality time?
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Well ... to the first point ... that's not something I'm inclined to do :D and,

to the second point - I'm not currently dating, and not looking into starting either, once again, the fact that I'm planning to go overseas is a limiting factor - what happens if I hook up with someone who doesn't want to go overseas? What happens if I like it over there and decide not to come back?

I prefer to just avoid annoying issues like those.
 
shadowfox said:
Well ... to the first point ... that's not something I'm inclined to do :D and,

to the second point - I'm not currently dating, and not looking into starting either, once again, the fact that I'm planning to go overseas is a limiting factor - what happens if I hook up with someone who doesn't want to go overseas? What happens if I like it over there and decide not to come back?

I prefer to just avoid annoying issues like those.
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Life's only as difficult as you make it for yourself :D
 
DenSweeP said:
Hey, I'm not judging anyone for staying with their folks, well except maybe Raven, but what I want to know is how does this affect your and their social lives? What if you folks wanna romp nude through the house or you wanna invite home that hottie you been dating for a while for some quality time?
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Mine are not the kind of people to do that and I don't get much chance to meet notties, nevermind hotties.
 
I started working when I was 13, doing newspaper deliveries for a few years, also washing cars and offering cleaning services (LOL, I was quite the little entrepreneur when younger) :p When I was a bit older, I had part time jobs with retail shops, restaurants etc. I paid a small portion for rent and the phone bill and helped out around the house up until moved out when was 19. (which I feel today was a bit young and put myself in unnecessary stress)

From there I lived on own and then moved in with current bf where we rented out different flats and built ourselves up with careers to now where we have bought our own house together.

another reason I couldn't wait to get out of the house was to have my own privacy..
 
Oh sure the feeling is mutual! I am lucky enough tho that the part of the house I stay in is relatively separate from the rest of the house. We share the garage and kitchen and tv room but that is it. I have my room and bathroom that is on the other side of the house and after dinner they all know not to bug me since its me time :P If I feel like socialising I will watch tv with them otherwise not.

And yea since Im not currently dating that isnt an issue, if it happens that I start dating again then its something we will work out when we get there - hopefully by then I would have gotten a better job :P
 
Wyvern said:
Oh sure the feeling is mutual! I am lucky enough tho that the part of the house I stay in is relatively separate from the rest of the house. We share the garage and kitchen and tv room but that is it. I have my room and bathroom that is on the other side of the house and after dinner they all know not to bug me since its me time :P If I feel like socialising I will watch tv with them otherwise not.

And yea since Im not currently dating that isnt an issue, if it happens that I start dating again then its something we will work out when we get there - hopefully by then I would have gotten a better job :P
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Lol ... luckily I don't need to share the TV room. Murder would happen then.

If you want to talk about sponging in my family - my sister is a prime example. She (and her two kids) live with us as well - and she does not pay a cent of rent. And my mom is so desperate to get her out the house she's even willing to rent her a seperate flat somewhere .... far ... far away.
 
to0kenZA said:
@Kerby: I don't agree with your list. Especially not the part where you say 30+ should be having kids etc. What if people don't want kids? I'd definitely be out of the house by that time, but that's not to say I even want kids at that age, let alone be married by that time. You can't put out a set of rules for any one individual person to follow. We're all unique in the way we plan our life and our priorities. No offence to you at all my good man, with this next statement, but trying to sum up how someone should live their life is nothing but judging, in my opinion at least.
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Let me explain my self a little and this is only my point of view ,
And this is personally in my own life and in no way reflects of what people have to do ,
I want to be married when im 30 , which I will be , Im getting married 1 month before I turn 30.
I want to be married for a few years before having kids ,
Now If I have kids when im 32 , my children will be 18 when im 50.
That , to me , is a good age for kids to be going to college / university as I will have a last few working years while im putting them through college and be done by the time they have left the house.

To me , its just a matter of how I see the timing done and in no way reflects what people "have" to do.

Its just what I am going to do.

Thats all :)
 
kerbyross said:
Let me explain my self a little and this is only my point of view ,
And this is personally in my own life and in no way reflects of what people have to do ,
I want to be married when im 30 , which I will be , Im getting married 1 month before I turn 30.
I want to be married for a few years before having kids ,
Now If I have kids when im 32 , my children will be 18 when im 50.
That , to me , is a good age for kids to be going to college / university as I will have a last few working years while im putting them through college and be done by the time they have left the house.

To me , its just a matter of how I see the timing done and in no way reflects what people "have" to do.

Its just what I am going to do.

Thats all :)
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Sorry dude, I must have just misunderstood then. No harm done buddy! :)
 
to0kenZA said:
Also, something else I wanted to discuss. I know back in the olden days, people used to stay with their parents a lot longer after school and studies. My father stayed with his folks until he was 28, then he got married, stayed there for another 2 years before him and my mom got their own place. I guess it was just part of the fact that they were a middle class family back then, but I don't see how that's a bad thing for families to stick together.

Some Portuguese families stay in large houses, with multiple families living under one roof. Where that might be their culture, it might obviously be non-traditional for, say, a South African family, but that's actually really cool because they keep all their money in the family, looking out for each other and sticking together.

In the end I think it's a matter of background as well as a family relevant thing. I don't think anyone can judge a person on something like this. You don't know their family and you don't know the circumstances in a person's life. You can learn to be self-sufficient, no matter what your current situation is. If I was to be kicked out of home for any reason, whether it be my folks passing away or something in that line, I would obviously be able to sustain myself. I would just really suck at making potjiekos :P
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That is an excellent point. Times keep changing and society wants everyone to change with it. At one time people were getting married by 14 but then after the inductrial revolution it suddenly took a high school degree to get a simple job. Now it's at the point where high school doesn't do it any more. The world is way too competitive today. It used to be the norm that children would stay with their parents or near them and when their parents died they would just take over their role and continue what they were doing. It still works like that in some cases. Dis hoekom daar so baie boere is wat vroue soek. :p

DenSweeP said:
Hey, I'm not judging anyone for staying with their folks, well except maybe Raven, but what I want to know is how does this affect your and their social lives? What if you folks wanna romp nude through the house or you wanna invite home that hottie you been dating for a while for some quality time?
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The romping part is not going to happen and as for the second part... for real quality time a house just wouldn't cut it anyway... think medieval "whistling: :D
 
I moved out of the house when I was 17... I'm 23 now. Moved 50km away from my folk and found my first job as a signage worker. Worked there for a bit and ten moved to Cape Town, got my job as a graphics designer there. Stayed for 3 years and then moved to PMB where I stay today.

Bought a car recently with my own hard earned cash. Got engaged and got a decent job at a medium sized corporation.

The thing is I'm used to doing everything on my own since I was young. Stayed in boarding houses and moved into a small room outside the house when I was 15. My folks live on a farm where I went and did my own thing working for the farmers who lived around us. I'm just saying that for every person it's a different situation.

I see my folks maybe once a year and it's good enough for me.
 
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