The Bashy thread.

Pyr0

Pyr0

New member
I have been looking through Bash.org lately and found a few funny comments. Feel free to share any that you stumbled across :D

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<BlackDeth> Now playing: with myself

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<Karmer> got damn it i accidently just shit in my pants
<Karmer> brb

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<epmo> now can u please unban me so i can ask a real question? :)
<DAL9000> To remove your ban, please submit the request for ban removal form(FRM-4391B-R5) with all neccessary materials, including passport photograph and notorized statement of intent to abide by rules, and your ban will be reviewed for removal within 4 to 8 business days. In the meantime all inquiries may be directed to www.google.com.

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<evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...
<Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?
<evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality
<evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
<evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."
<evenpar123> It was horrible...
<evenpar123> ugh

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<didas> ok when anyone sees nirvanas_owner i need them to tel me to mail me
<AnnoyN_Princess> u want him to tell u to mail urself?

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<Puddle of Mudd> Have they named the disorder where you become obsessed with terrible songs?
<Critíc> Pop culture.

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* KeeperX is currently listening to [Your Mom and Dad - 'Having Sex' (0min 12secs long)]

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*** Signoff: dejay (Quit: If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?)

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<Spingo> I know of many MAN installations. I have even done a few myself.

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<GreenJeanz> Go gnaw on your delicious genitals, Squink.
<Squinky> If I could touch my mouth to my genitals, do you think I'd be HERE?

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<Ben> good weather for mowing my ass...
<Ben> er...
<Ben> "good weather for mowing" my ass

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<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

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<schmidt> i can kill a person with no hands
<SirBlack> so can I, when they don't have hands it's hard for them to fight back :P

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<ManicV> sleeping pills are for pussies
<proto_> No no no, you take these orally.

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<crumpiano> i just discovered a revolutionary way to piss off my neighbor
<crumpiano> i can play porn and broadcast the audio out over the frequency of the radio station hes listening to
<crumpiano> HAHAHAHA
<crumpiano> he cant tell me to turn it down when its HIS stereo
<MAME> you're an asshole

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<Numi> hey, can you guys just check a site out and tell me if it's up?
<Haddock> depends, what is it?
<Numi> just my apache server, it works for me but seems to be down for anyone else
<Haddock> alright, what's the address?
<Numi> http://127.0.0.1
<Haddock> ......
<Haddock> ...Yeah, it's up.

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<Dro0> i dont wanna be alarmist here
<Dro0> but i'm prety sure that the guy trying to configure the core router in chicago
<Dro0> is googling "subnetting"

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<rabbit> rimming is freaking distgusting
<rabbit> i tried it once with my ex
<rabbit> and she farted in my mouth
<rabbit> and i puked on her ass
<rabbit> never again

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<msngchmbl> OH MY GOD
<piardog> ?
<msngchmbl> I JUST DROPPED MY XANAX INTO MY BAG OF LUCKY CHARMS
<msngchmbl> FUCK
<msngchmbl> IT'S THE SAME COLOR AS THE FUCKING SHOOTING STARS
<piardog> it will be even more magically delicious now
 
My favourite... My friends agree I would actually do something like this :o

#827518 +(2885)- [X]

<kinzey> i want to go out with a girl
<kinzey> and lay in the field
<kinzey> real romatic like
<kinzey> and just stare at the full moon
<kinzey> and she'll say something along the lines of "the moon's so beautiful tonight"
<kinzey> and i'll just be like
<kinzey> "that's no moon... THAT'S A BATTLESTATION!!!"
<kinzey> and then run to the car and leave her ass there
<Chris> wow
 
<evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...
<Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?
<evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality
<evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
<evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."
<evenpar123> It was horrible...
<evenpar123> ugh
Click to expand...

<ManicV> sleeping pills are for pussies
<proto_> No no no, you take these orally.
Click to expand...

Bwahahahaha .......... I lol'ed :D
 
looooool@ this one

<dazz:#cdr> its it possible to read half a disk at a time, eg, i have a small hd, can i read 300 mb, burn it, and the do the another 300 mb, and som on, eg on a psx game
Click to expand...
 
<Diamond> That's because you're spoiled :D
<Diamond> "MOM I NEED A P4 2.4GHz FOR WORD PROCESSING PLZKTHX"
<Diamond> "MAKE SURE IT HAS A GOOD 3D CARD FOR...3D WORDS"

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[+escobar] just found out my grandma watches porn
[+escobar] something is serious wrong in the world

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EchelonOverlord: Jeni's gonna come watch Usual Suspects now.
Morwen K: ooh! has she seen it before?
EchelonOverlord: Nope.
Morwen K: coooool
EchelonOverlord: Oh yeah.
Morwen K: i'd invite myself along but i'm sure this is your together-time, so i won't intrude ;)
Morwen K: plus i'd probably blurt out "it's kevin spacey!!!" like halfway through
EchelonOverlord: What?! Kevin Spacey?!!
Morwen K: ..
Morwen K: fuck

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<@voh> ever seen the bristol flag in my room?
<@voh> it's about 80 cm wide and 300cm long
<@voh> big-ass flag :)
< SirGoblin> sounds like my penis
<@voh> yeah
<@voh> the flag refuses to stand up straight as well

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<Nash> YES…they caught the bastard who made the blaster virus
<Nash> looks like he will be getting 10 yrs max in prison
<DDR4life> serves him right
<DROSS> Someone is soon going to discover how strangely painful the shower hour in prison is
<FiringSquad> He’ll probably catch a different type of virus in prison
<LexiusTheGenuis> poor kids virginity is going to the recycle bin
<Sczoyd> cellmates will probably be giving him some rather large uploads
<Antibig> theyll be installing some new hardware in his rectum
<FiringSquad> looks like his unprotected port is going to be probed
<Sczoyd> I hope he doesnt mind other men using his hard drive
<JSP> a roll like him is going to get rolled a lot
<Sczoyd> his prison mates are going to have a lot of fun with their new laptop
<ShinKurro> someone will find out a new way to spread viruses
<Nash> okay, that wasn’t really called for.

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[+MadManDaz] I brought a david blane toy 10 days ago. I Still cant get the fucker out the box.

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<FuriousC> my computer is performing more illegal operations than doctor kevorkian

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R0ry » what shall i get my bro for his bday
R0ry » he's 25
bazmalti » an anal probe?
bazmalti » lol
R0ry » i said 25
R0ry » not german

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<splosh123> Just a question if anyone knows... How many wind power mill things do you need to power... say... Brisbane
<dazzawul> thousands
<dazzawul> and they will be noisy
<dazzawul> and push australia to the west

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::Sathane.. I am wlasys sober
::Sathane.. excpet when I dirnk

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<Aerion> I haven't rebooted Windows for a week and it still hasn't started leaking memory.
<AndrewT> freaky
<AndrewT> you'd better get that thing to microsoft before it starts becoming useful

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* hotwetlilgurl13 is now known as MrPinky
<Strawberry-Holocaust> .... damn dude I was gonna pm u for a second there

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<Rainwulf> my laptop cant play CS
<Rainwulf> that doesnt worry me though.
<Rainwulf> cos i cant either

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<NickFury> what is your deffinition of "hacker"?
<sta-hi> NickFury: tiger woods drunk.
<sta-hi> wah wah wah wah wahhhh

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<Raymondo> I'm a lot funnier in real life.
<Megatron5000> that doesn't matter here
<Raymondo> I'm just pointing out I don't suck 24/7
<PrzeCM03|04> who cares what's your sucking timetable

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<sunfish>I stopped a rape in the city last night
<Donnyman>How'd you do that
<sunfish>Simple I stopped following her.

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<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan are gifs and jpgs

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<Allen> what about Hall?
<CactusJac> he died
<Mikey316> he was arrested
<Allen> make up your mind..
<CactusJac> He was arrested for dying

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* Faetan is gonna kill Santa for this...
* Santa_Clause is now known as Steve
<Steve> >_>
<Steve> <_<

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<just4helpin> How did you guys get your ideas for user names?
<synth> i dunno
<Wrench> im a tool

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atty: my face hurts
Chester: why is that
atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist
atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and took one
atty: and i go, DAMN WOMEN... ALWAYS STEALING A RIB FROM US MEN
atty: so she slapped me
Chester: dumbass

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<FBS> how do you know the exact version of bind ?
<FBS> fuck those who answer bind -v or some other bullshit
<eb> bind -v
<ghoz> other bullshit

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< tmbg_> anyone given thought to using accelerometers from laptops as entropy inputs?
< tkoskine> "Generating a new encryption key, please shake your computer" ? :)

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Trey: for some reason IE is throwing a SHIT-FIT about where I'm using
document.getElementById("displayBoardSelector").innerHTML = html;
what the hell. explain your stupid browser.
Dakk12: did you properly light your incense?
Dakk12: in what order did you do the chant and throw the chicken bones?

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<Kuros> So this guy was selling Final Fantasy 7 on craigslist for $500
<Sniper_Wolf> hahahaha wow
<Kuros> yeah
<Kuros> so i just made another ad there with that dudes number
<Kuros> selling the game for $20
 
<Nash> YES…they caught the bastard who made the blaster virus
<Nash> looks like he will be getting 10 yrs max in prison
<DDR4life> serves him right
<DROSS> Someone is soon going to discover how strangely painful the shower hour in prison is
<FiringSquad> He’ll probably catch a different type of virus in prison
<LexiusTheGenuis> poor kids virginity is going to the recycle bin
<Sczoyd> cellmates will probably be giving him some rather large uploads
<Antibig> theyll be installing some new hardware in his rectum
<FiringSquad> looks like his unprotected port is going to be probed
<Sczoyd> I hope he doesnt mind other men using his hard drive
<JSP> a roll like him is going to get rolled a lot
<Sczoyd> his prison mates are going to have a lot of fun with their new laptop
<ShinKurro> someone will find out a new way to spread viruses
<Nash> okay, that wasn’t really called for.
Click to expand...

I had to leave the office and go laugh in the toilet for this
I can't stop laughing!
 
Good ol' Bash :D

Been reading it since just after it started ... having been on irc for 9 years (9 years too many as well) quite a few of my mates have posts on there.

The funniest ones are the down rated racist ones :p
 
(f`CNK) so lets say im driving
(f`CNK) and sum1 yells in my fucking ear
(f`CNK) i wont lose concentration man
(f`CNK) neither would u!
(f`CNK) we are like superman
(Alchemeron) superman doesn't drive a car, you fucking idiot, he can fly

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<Dee> A man walked along and saw a ladder going up into the heavens
<Dee> he climbed up a ladder and saw an ugly woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to success'
<Dee> the man got freaked out and started climbing the ladder frantically
<Dee> on the next level, he saw a plain looking woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to success'
<Dee> seeing a pattern here, the man climbs the ladder again
<Dee> on the next ladder, he saw a really hot woman, very beautiful and sexy
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to success'
<Dee> the man is tempted, but thinks, 'If the woman is hot here, imagine what it would be like in the next level!' and he climbs the ladder
<Dee> on that level there was this fat ugly hell's angel, with a fucking long beard, piercings and decorated with tattoos
<Dee> the man screamed "who the fuck are you?!"
<Dee> the hell's angel said "i am cess"

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<WhitePony> I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable modem, where do i download the patch?

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(G0th|CMaN): can anybody help me????????
(G0th|CMaN): can anybody help me????????
(HappyJoy): deja vu?
(G0th|CMaN): speak english pls i dont understand

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<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

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xxx : My grandpa knew exactly the day he gonna die :/
yyy : wtf... its impossible. Was it a magician who told him that ?
xxx : Lol :) no, it was judge

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<Korben> tits
<darkraZor> yes, tits
<Soopa> i agree
<darkraZor> ...indeed

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ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him.
ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel.
ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a steam roller.

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<Triumph> No wonder we can't win in Afghanistan.
<Triumph> We drop a dozen bombs and when no one is left standing, drop a bag of food.
<Triumph> Instead, we should drop the bag of food first and when everyone gathers around it, drop a single bomb.

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<implexor> some of my friends were smoking pot in a car. After some laughing they started to cruise around town. Drove for a while and while going round a roundabout one of them noticed that it would be funny to drive on it backwards. It was funny until the inevitable happened and they've hit another car.
<dsarr> lol
<implexor> w8 there's more. They went silent and just sit frightened in the car. Police came very quickly and started to talk to the driver in the car behind them. Then the policeman came to their drivers door, my friend opens the window, and the policeman goes "don't worry guys, the bloke in the other car is so drunk, that he's telling stories you were driving backwards".

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<+Lekon> Oddly enough in fable 2 I AM queerbait somehow
<+Lekon> All the gay guys in bowerstone are trying to marry my guy
<+HereticMachine> Sent.
<+Lekon> Its a Halo above my head, not a steering wheel for my mouth bastards.

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<DigDug> i think i'm gonna walk to the movie theater and see dinosaur...
<kimy-> and be surrounded by like 10 year old girls?
<Amanda_> He said Dinosaur, not N'Sync.
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<EtherMan> stoner chicks suck
<EtherMan> they're a waste of a perfectly good set of breasts.
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<emufreak> I HATE CHANNEL TOPICS
<emufreak> WHY MUST THEY EXIST
<emufreak> AND WHY DO I STILL CLICK THEM WHEN THEY END IN .JPG
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<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.
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<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
 
#761 +(684)- [X]

<Martes> I gotta stop sleeping nude with my window open
<Martes> no one exciting comes in anyway

#27944 +(1691)- [X]

UsMc-LiTe: OMFG I JUST GOT A GF!!!!!!!!!
AkIrAgOrN909: Sadly folks, hes talking about the Grandfather sword in Diablo 2.

#746975 +(309)- [X]

<ricebowl> lingerie is one of the few items where you expect to pay more for less

#142934 +(9680)- [X]

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)
 
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