the JOKE thread

for everyone from the verre oosrand :)

A little ouk is sitting in a bar when a big body builder from Brakpan comes up and says here’s a karate chop from Japan. The little ouk gets up and the body builder goes here’s a round house kick from Chuck Norris knocking him down. The little ouk just smiles and goes way, 15 minutes later he comes over and knocks the body builder out cold. He looks at the bartender and says when he wakes up tell him that was a wheel spanner from "Springs"
 
wizdumb said:
for everyone from the verre oosrand :)

A little ouk is sitting in a bar when a big body builder from Brakpan comes up and says here’s a karate chop from Japan. The little ouk gets up and the body builder goes here’s a round house kick from Chuck Norris knocking him down. The little ouk just smiles and goes way, 15 minutes later he comes over and knocks the body builder out cold. He looks at the bartender and says when he wakes up tell him that was a wheel spanner from "Springs"
Click to expand...

bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... epic thanks wizdumb :D
 
wizdumb said:
for everyone from the verre oosrand :)

a little ouk is sitting in a bar when a big body builder from brakpan comes up and says here’s a karate chop from japan. The little ouk gets up and the body builder goes here’s a round house kick from chuck norris knocking him down. The little ouk just smiles and goes way, 15 minutes later he comes over and knocks the body builder out cold. He looks at the bartender and says when he wakes up tell him that was a wheel spanner from "springs"
Click to expand...

lol +100000000000
 
For all thos WoW players out there...

You know you're addicted to WoW when you microwave goes "ding" and you shout "GZ!!!!!"
 
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby
to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to
the mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm
and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that
the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered .... 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.'
 
wizdumb said:
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby
to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to
the mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm
and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that
the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered .... 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.'
Click to expand...

i loled so hard i spilt mah cuppacino everywhere... had to order another :p :D
 
Dixie said:
Wizdumb, when you hit 2 000 posts and need a custom title, it has to be Court Jester :D
Click to expand...

yay
/runs and makes a note in his calender for 18/08/2012

********************

old one

While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his willy covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here; we know very little about it.'

The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.'
The doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.'
The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.'
The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.'

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease.'
The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My Canadian doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid Canadian docta, always want to opelate. Make more money dat way. No need to opelate!'
Oh, Thank God!' the man replies.
'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two week. Fawl off by itself!'
 
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