the JOKE thread

Wat is verlore uit Playtation en Nintendo?

Die "S"

*Sorry, my Afrikaans is terrible, but not as bad as this joke.
 
What is missing from Playtation and Nintendo?

Die "S" is missing in Playtation and DS is missing in Nintendo. Do I have to spell it out for everyone.

Tough crowd.

That brings an end to my Console jokes. It got a bit thin at the end, but you try making up jokes yourself. It's not easy.
 
HANDsolo said:
Hey, my "What does a Sony console and a radio have in common" joke killed at Ceasar's Palace last weekend.
Click to expand...

Drunk people don't count :D

The people reading this are all sober.

No wait ... I take that back. Some of the people reading this are sober :p
 
Please don't see this in the wrong light.

Why so many South Africans move to Australia ?

Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa before and was visiting Bondi Beach , Australia . He spotted a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What are all those little black things out there?"

"They're buoys," said the Aussie.

"Boys?!" replied Van der Merwe. "What are they doing out there?"

"Holding up the shark net," the Aussie told him.

"F*cken great country this!" said Van der Merwe , deeply impressed.

"We'd never get away with something like that back home!"
Click to expand...
 
Black Testicles
A male patient is lying in bed
in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his
mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure
A young student nurse appears to give him a
partial sponge bath.
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my
testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies
'I don't know,Sir.
I'm only here to wash
your upper body.'
He struggles to ask again,
'Nurse, are my
testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
she overcomes her
embarrassment and sheepishly
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his
penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other,
lifting and moving them
around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong
with them, Sir !!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and
says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was
wonderful, but listen
very, very closely.....
' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?'
 
A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat.." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you were more attractive it would lift itself."
 
Jannie en Juffrou

Jannie is in Gr.1 en sy Engels juffrou het probleme met hom.
Jannie meen hyss te slim vir Gr.1 en wil na Gr.3 oorgeplaas word.
Sy suster is in Gr.3 en Jannie reken hy is baie slimmer as sy.
Die juffrou het genoeg gehad en vat hom na die skoolhoof.

Die hoof se hy gaan Jannie toets.As hy druip,bly hy in Gr.1.
Hoof:Wat is 3x3?
Jannie :9

Hoof:Wat is 6x6?
Jannie :36

So gaan dit aan totdat die juffrou die hoof vra of sy nie maar vir Jannie `n paar vrae in Engels kan vra nie?

Juffrou:What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Jannie :Legs

Juffrou:What do you have in you pants that I don't have?
Jannie :Pockets

Juffrou:What starts with a c and ends with a t, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a thin,whitish liquid?

Die hoof vee die sweet van sy voorkop af

Jannie :Coconut

Juffrou:What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?
Jannie :Bubblegum

Juffrou:What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
Jannie :Shake hands

Juffrou:Now I'll ask some Who am I sort of questions, okay?
Jannie :Yup

Juffrou:You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you.
Jannie : tent

Juffrou: A finger goes into me.You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first?

Die hoof lyk baie gespanne.

Jannie :wedding ring

Juffrou: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well I drip. When you blow me you feel good.
Jannie :Nose

Juffrou:I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Jannie :Arrow

Juffrou: What starts with a F ends with a K that means a lot of excitement?
Jannie :firetruck

Die hoof spring op en se: Sit die klein bliksem in Gr.5 Ek het die laaste 10 antwoorde verkeerd gehad!!!!!!!
 
A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed
and
squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how
ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?'

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what
you
think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not
only
am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.'

The husband replies, 'What did he say about your 42-year old arse?'

'Your name never came up,' she replied
 
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