Thread Killer - Gaming Edition (PG13)
- Thread starter Ghost02
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Dixie
Banned
An oldie:
Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. The first one said "oh look, bear tracks". "No no" said the second, "they're rabbit tracks". "No", said the third, "they're definitely squirrel tracks". They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. The first one said "oh look, bear tracks". "No no" said the second, "they're rabbit tracks". "No", said the third, "they're definitely squirrel tracks". They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Dixie
Banned
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would
not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then
he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My
co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was
pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY"
and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate
for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
"... And where do you think you’re going?"
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."
not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then
he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My
co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was
pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY"
and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate
for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
"... And where do you think you’re going?"
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."
Dixie
Banned
Jacob Zuma, Shabir Shaik and Julius Malema are flying on the
Presidential jet to a gathering in Cape Town when Shaik turns to Zuma
and says, chuckling,
'You know, I could throw a R1000 note out the window right now and make
someone very happy .'
Zuma shrugs and replies, 'Well, I could throw ten R100 notes out the
window and make ten people happy.'
Not to be outdone, Malema says, 'Well I could throw a hundred R10 notes
out the window and make a hundred people happy.'
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, 'Such arrogant jerks
back there. Heck, I could throw all three of them out the window and
make 52 million people happy.'
Presidential jet to a gathering in Cape Town when Shaik turns to Zuma
and says, chuckling,
'You know, I could throw a R1000 note out the window right now and make
someone very happy .'
Zuma shrugs and replies, 'Well, I could throw ten R100 notes out the
window and make ten people happy.'
Not to be outdone, Malema says, 'Well I could throw a hundred R10 notes
out the window and make a hundred people happy.'
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, 'Such arrogant jerks
back there. Heck, I could throw all three of them out the window and
make 52 million people happy.'
Dixie
Banned
Twee blondines ry fiets.
Die een hou stil en begin die lug uit haar fiets se bande te laat.
"Wat maak jy nou?"
"My saal is te hoog! "
Die ander blondine begin haar fiets se hanvatsels en saal om te ruil.
"En wat maak jy nou?"
"Jy's te onnosel -- ek het besluit om terug te ry huis toe! "
Die een hou stil en begin die lug uit haar fiets se bande te laat.
"Wat maak jy nou?"
"My saal is te hoog! "
Die ander blondine begin haar fiets se hanvatsels en saal om te ruil.
"En wat maak jy nou?"
"Jy's te onnosel -- ek het besluit om terug te ry huis toe! "
Dixie
Banned
*A plane to New York *
The pilot says: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out."
A little later, the pilot says
"We're still losing altitude; we must throw anything out that is in the cabin". The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out.
Pilot: "Still going down - we must throw out some people". * *There's a big gasp from the passengers!
Pilot: "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
So... A... any Africans on board?" No one moves. "B.. any Blacks on board?" No one moves. "C... any Coloureds on board?" Still, no one moves.
"D.... any Darkies?"
A little black boy - asks his dad: "Dad...what are we? Dad: "Tonight son, we are Zulus,... finish and klaar"
The pilot says: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out."
A little later, the pilot says
"We're still losing altitude; we must throw anything out that is in the cabin". The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out.
Pilot: "Still going down - we must throw out some people". * *There's a big gasp from the passengers!
Pilot: "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
So... A... any Africans on board?" No one moves. "B.. any Blacks on board?" No one moves. "C... any Coloureds on board?" Still, no one moves.
"D.... any Darkies?"
A little black boy - asks his dad: "Dad...what are we? Dad: "Tonight son, we are Zulus,... finish and klaar"
Dixie
Banned
Why Men Are Like Computers
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter
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