Shamrock
New member
Out of boredom and annoyance, I've decided to open this Twilight thread. I watched this movie a few weeks ago with some friends. Some of them had seen it before and hyped it up to be an awesome vampire movie.
So I started watching. Boring enough for the first 20 minutes, but I could see where it was going -- wolves, vampires = profit, right? WRONG. Vampires = sales technique + romance = gay profit.
40 minutes in I was still waiting for something cool to happen. Eventually, pretty boy Edward walked into the sun. I got really psyched up. He burns? Maybe transforms into something awesome. Maybe he flips out and kills the annoying emo girlfriend. Nope. No, that'd be too decent for the story, way above this movies level. Instead, he unbuttons his shirt almost like in a high-budget porn movie and sparkles. He glitters. It looks like they took glitter and put it on him. At this point I saw the chick flick sales technique.
After telling the !@#$ next to me to shut up for the fourth time, I finally saw an action scene -- they were about to rip another vampires head off. The scene lasted a whole of 40 seconds and instead of seeing the head come off, it cut it short before violence changed it from being A to 12. What makes that worse is they cut it off to show a romantic scene where Captain Pretty takes his human girlfriend to a hospital. Now it's about damn time I started realizing that this movie felt three hours long and was just about as entertaining as watching metal rust.
Could it be true? Could it really end here? No, they have to do a prom scene. Then it ended, and I rejoiced and asked for a refund. Didn't get one though.
Some people really liked it, however. No offense to those people, whatever works for you, but I'd rather watch something cool...like Beowulf.
So I started watching. Boring enough for the first 20 minutes, but I could see where it was going -- wolves, vampires = profit, right? WRONG. Vampires = sales technique + romance = gay profit.
40 minutes in I was still waiting for something cool to happen. Eventually, pretty boy Edward walked into the sun. I got really psyched up. He burns? Maybe transforms into something awesome. Maybe he flips out and kills the annoying emo girlfriend. Nope. No, that'd be too decent for the story, way above this movies level. Instead, he unbuttons his shirt almost like in a high-budget porn movie and sparkles. He glitters. It looks like they took glitter and put it on him. At this point I saw the chick flick sales technique.
After telling the !@#$ next to me to shut up for the fourth time, I finally saw an action scene -- they were about to rip another vampires head off. The scene lasted a whole of 40 seconds and instead of seeing the head come off, it cut it short before violence changed it from being A to 12. What makes that worse is they cut it off to show a romantic scene where Captain Pretty takes his human girlfriend to a hospital. Now it's about damn time I started realizing that this movie felt three hours long and was just about as entertaining as watching metal rust.
Could it be true? Could it really end here? No, they have to do a prom scene. Then it ended, and I rejoiced and asked for a refund. Didn't get one though.
Some people really liked it, however. No offense to those people, whatever works for you, but I'd rather watch something cool...like Beowulf.
