What to do in a real-life Zombie apocalypse

To survive

  1. Cardio
  2. The Double Tap
  3. Beware of Bathrooms
  4. Wear Seat Belts
  5. No Attachments
  6. The “Skillet”
  7. Travel Light
  8. Get a Kick Ass Partner
  9. With your Bare Hands
  10. Don’t Swing Low
  11. Use Your Foot
  12. Bounty Paper Towels
  13. Shake it Off
  14. Always carry a change of underwear
  15. Bowling Ball
  16. Opportunity Knocks
  17. Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
  18. Limber Up
  19. Break it Up
  20. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
  21. Avoid Strip Clubs
  22. When in doubt Know your way out
  23. Zipplock
  24. Use your thumbs
  25. Shoot First
  26. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
  27. Incoming!
  28. Double-Knot your Shoes
  29. The Buddy System
  30. Pack your stain stick
  31. Check the back seat
  32. Enjoy the little things
  33. Swiss army Knife

ZombieWorld (Rough unofficial copy)
 
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I should listen more often to my kids. They are always going on about what we should do when the Zombie Apocalypse happens.

My first thought would have been get to the roof of a multi-storey building that has some grocery stores on the higher levels.
 
First thing I'll do is get some extra ammo for the shotgun. Not for the Zombies but for all the Gautengers in their BMWs and SUVs fleeing Jozi, thinking they can come squat in my platteland.

"Can you milk a cow?"
"No."
BOOM!

"Can you drive a tractor?"
"No."
BOOM!

"Can you overhaul the engine on a windpomp?"
"Uhhhh... Yeah sure."
"Trick question, windpompe hettie enjins nie!"
BOOM BOOM!
 
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