Industry spy hub Superannuation has turned up a casting call for an “interactive project” dubbed “Rush”, put out by Telsey & Company, a New York talent agency apparently used regularly by GTA dev Rockstar.
So what makes it obviously GTA V? Check out the rap sheet…
• Mitch Hayes:
38 – Annoying, wise cracking, highly successful FBI agent. In great shape. Does triathlons, drinks low cal beer, but still has a sense of humor.
• Miguel Gonzalez:
25 Young Mexican American FBI agent, caught between a few mob bosses. Very clean cut
• Clyde:
23 – Moronic, almost inbred and creepy white trash hillbilly. Very naïve but in a creepy ‘it’s only incest sort of way’
• Brother Adam:
Welsh monk / cult leader / yoga teacher – 50, very lithe, very into exploring your personal tension through gripping massage. Needs Welsh accent.
• Mrs Avery:
Neurotic soccer mom, home maker, 48, anxious and addled on pain killers. Very angry at neighbor MRS Bell.
• Mrs Bell:
Swinger, and mellow Californian divorcee. 45. Ugly but comfortable with self.
• Eddie:
47 – Weed evangelist, guy who started smoking at 30, and is now a leading proponent of marijuana’s fantastic properties. White, awkward.
• Ira Bernstein:
56 – publicist for an actress known as America’s newest sweetheart who just so happens to love animals, orphans, drugs and sex. He’s always trying to hide her latest indiscretion.
• Kevin De Silva:
18 – Albert’s fat, FPS playing gamer son. Smokes a lot of weed, has anxiety issues and a card for a bad back, very soft, very opinionated. Into making racist comments while playing online.
• Harut Vartanyan:
42-52 years old – Armenian car dealer, moneylender, would be Fagin and would be bully. Heavily connected to the underworld, but irritates people so much no one likes him.
• Nervous Jerry:
48 – paranoiac living in the sticks, near Simon, completely paranoid, and terrified of Simon.
• Calvin North:
55 – clapped out FBI agent who now mostly works offering advice on TV shows – whose only claim to fame turns out to be entirely false – but a decent guy in other ways. Badly dressed. Divorced. Putting on weight.
• Jerry Cole:
53 – disabled IT expert and criminal information vendor.
• Rich Roberts:
English hardman actor, 35, who acts tough but who wants to do serious work – the only problem is he can’t quite read the words.
• Alex:
White 52 yr old loosie goosie hippy rich guy who has lost his money and is getting desperate but trying not to.
• Scarlet:
45-52 years old – unshaven female spiritualist and hippy with a love of exploring the wilderness. Very into journeys.
• Chad:
29 – pretty boy misogynist Beverly Hills party boy. Made money, but not as cool as he thinks he is.
• Tae Wong:
39 – somewhat incompetent Chinese mobster, loves doing ecstasy, going to raves.
• Taes Translator:
45 – VERY STRAIGHT LACED Chinese translator, terrified of his boss’s dad. Male, awkward. Needs to speak Chinese.
Source: CVG
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