Who cares about cataclysmic interstellar wars when there are hot aliens over at the bar anyway?

Fortunately, Bioware understands the fundamental concept of conquering space in your pants; as a result it looks like Mass Effect 2 will be catering to pervs everywhere. You’re into pole-dancing salarians? Look, pole-dancing salarians! 

The American Entertainment Software Rating Board has just published its rating memorandum, detailing the themes that slapped a Mature sticker on the game box. These include “romantic encounters” with your human and alien henchies (which is probably in contravention of some space workers’ union law or something), which mostly involve “watching a guided cutscene in which two characters flirt, kiss, and/or embrace: clothed alien/human characters may prop a partner on top of a space console, clear away the clutter from a bed-slab, unzip a future-blouse, or just talk it out”. That’s about it for that, though, because “actual sex is never depicted—the camera cuts away to space furniture and ceilings.” Just like the real thing.

The game  features some illicit substance abuse and trafficking as plot points, with the ESRB citing character quotes such as “Morinth likes dancing while on a drug called Hallex,” “Narcotics flooded my veins when I attacked,” and “The asari injecting so many drugs into me was terrifying.”  Also expect buckets of gristle and gore and alien chunks – “Some enemies emit large splashes of blood when shot (particularly with ‘head shots’); several enemies lie stagnant in pools of blood”. Sounds like a regular Saturday night out, really. 

Curiously, it’s unclear whether the sequel includes the same-sex encounters that caused such a moral panic around the original game’s release. Anyone holding on for some man-krogan love might be disappointed, but at least you can work it out with some killing and hard drugs. 

Mass Effect 2 is scheduled to drop on 29 January 2010.