The Xbox LIVE Account Suspensions and Console Bans forum is one of my favourite places on the internet. Populated almost entirely by affronted, instantly innocent “victims” of insidious corporate oppression, its index is stuffed with people pretending they’ve done nothing wrong in the face of overwhelming evidence. Of course, most account suspensions aren’t much more than a week or so in the corner so the offender can have a nice, hard think about their crimes before getting back onto the Halo servers.

But getting banned until 9999, that takes some work. What sort of work? The guy’s dad was anxious to know. “Would be helpful if someone could enlighten me as to why he has been suspended until 31/12/9999 without notification” reads the post from TC57UK.

So Xbox LIVE enforcer XBLPET Whiskey provided that notification with all the bland disinterest of a true professional.

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Oh, burn. Somebody’s getting grounded.

It’s not the first time Uno has  turned up in the headlines for this sort of thing, either – seems that because it supports the LIVE Vision webcam, the game’s practically a swingers’ club over on LIVE. This is why we can’t have nice things.