Expert: Call of Duty Black Ops totally not realistic

7 June 2010

I like to start off my week with a bit of devastating reality, and besides, there’s just nothing else going first thing on a Monday morning. So here’s the terrible, terrible truth – that guy in the Call of Duty: Black Ops trailer isn’t for real.

As Aaron Schol over at Off Duty Gamers points out, tattoo policies in the military are somewhat – and necessarily – cautious. For example, covert operatives in so-called “denied” areas (places they shouldn’t be, basically) can’t be advertising the fact that they’re, you know, covert operatives. 

So where does that leave the Black Ops trailer guy’s conspicuously conspicuous U.S. Military Assistance Command, Vietnam – Studies and Observations Group tattoo? Probably on the “Disqualified for being so obvious” pile of service applications. That’s like an instant free pass to next weekend’s game of mao-mao over at Camp Enemy. 

“This leads me to believe that the main character in Call of Duty: Black Ops is pure Hollywood. A SOG tattoo just wouldn’t be worn and visible by an operator during those operations,” writes Aaron. “But this leads to speculation that maybe these missions in the game are after Vietnam and the operator in the game has already been separated from SOG.”

Or perhaps these dastardly video games have been lying to us all along. Quite impossible, of course. Anybody who knows anything knows a Russian submarine ICBM launch can be hacked in 10, like, seconds. 

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