Privates too rude for Xbox LIVE Indie Games

20 September 2010

After many months in limbo, it has been decided that edutainment title Privates, the unique shoot-‘em-up set inside peoples’ rude parts is to remain strictly PC-only following consultation with team Xbox. Sorry Xbox 360 gamers.

“The guys at Xbox have been amazing,” said Dan Marshall of Zombie Cow Studios. “They’ve been really supportive and helpful throughout, but ultimately have advised that the game wouldn’t pass the Indie Games Peer Review process, purely due to its inherently sexual nature. As a result, if you want to play as a tiny little man blasting away inside someone’s innards, the only place to do it is privatesgame.com”

“It’s a shame, but it’s something we’d always pretty much assumed would happen,” said Marshall.

“Since launch, we’ve been working flat-out on the PC version of Privates, improving it and getting it running on as many different systems as possible. As a result, all of the pesky crashes and issues have finally been fixed up, and it’s now running smoother and better than ever before. If you had troubles getting it going at launch, it’s well worth having another quick try,” said Marshall.

Privates is a platform shooter in which players lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples’ vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters. It’s rude, funny, bitingly satirical and technically pretty accurate if you don’t count the tiny people or the germs with teeth.

Privates boasts five whole levels of bug-busting action across a variety of 3D bodily locations, with a fully-voiced comedy script and a nutso soundtrack. You never know, you might even learn something handy about your downstairs-department.

The PC version is available to download for free from privatesgame.com.

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