The downfall of Konami

14 August 2015

The Japanese behemoth Konami has now changed its direction from making fantastic video games with happy teams of talented developers to harvesting billions of yen utilizing cell phone games and things like pachinko, a gambling contraption akin to pinball.

There have also been disturbing reports of employee working conditions from within its headquarters, conditions reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1984.

RIP Konami

We will never forget what you once were.

If you enjoyed gaming as a young cub, Konami would have filled many of your first gaming memories with titles such as Castlevania and Contra.

These terrifying and effing difficult classics were the bread and butter of much of our prepubescent thumb-play.

If you were like me, your early teens were spent obsessed with Metal Gear Solid and Silent Hill.

Konami holds a very intimate sector of our brains and it is a complete travesty to see it go down such heartless, conglomerate annals.

Contra

Finishing Contra as a boy made you a man.

This change of direction from producing games that cost many millions of dollars to create – to cheap and easy – is clearly a dive towards more money.

But how much money are we talking? Surely, Konami was doing well with series like Metal Gear Solid and Pro Evolution Soccer?

Pachinko is one of the most lucrative industries in Japan, earning the country over $300, 000, 000, 000, four times the total profit of world-wide legal casino gambling.

It’s not surprising if our friends at Konami have now disowned their much-loved series like Silent Hill and Metal Gear Solid in favour of mindless, money-sapping instruments like a box that shoots little balls around.

Despite being accused of lacking a sane business plan, Konami’s profits have recently gone up by 159%. Their revenues rose by 5.3 %, jumping from $390 million to $411 million.

Pachinko

There are many people in Japan, many of them love Pachinko. Also, Hokuto no Ken.

This skyrocketing prominence was achieved through cell phone games, pachinko and their new Orwellian management style.

Konami employees are now constantly monitored with cameras that are not there for security reasons but for scrutinizing the efficiency of workers.

Lunch breaks are timed and employees taking too long to chow their ramen and have a cigarette are publically shamed by having their hideous deeds broadcasted throughout the headquarters.

Employees who are deemed incapable or lacking in their performance are reduced to janitors. Intelligent programmers trade computers for mops if they do not appease their reptilian overlords.

Illuminati confirmed, basically

Konaminati

Konaminati confirmed.

All in all, we’re seeing some kind of gaming Revelations occurring in one of my most-loved companies. Things are looking very grim, with no hope of a turnaround.

But hey, who am I to complain, when there is Castlevania Pachinko, promising “Erotic Violence” and the ravaging of your childhood.

Game of the Year

‘10/10 Game of the Year’ IGN.

So tell us, what are some of your most beloved Konami series? And how will their downfall affect you, or have you already moved on?


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  1. disqus_YlbaIXgYE7
    18.01.2017 at 07:40

    Definitely LOVED Sunset Riders, Metal Gear Solid, Ace Combat, Castlevania, amongst others. They were my favorite gaming company of all time until i found out how they treated their workers and how much suddenly became more about money than the gaming community. You lost Hideo Kojima, you lose. Simple as that.

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