Finally – a new Pokémon game! With Pokémon Black and White having come and gone earlier in 2011, time has been a-wastin’ while we’ve been hanging on for all the announcements about the next big Pokémon thing. So let’s just slip this baby into the 3DS here and pl- heeeeeeey, what’s this? What is this sorcery!?

Any Pokémon fan who was expecting a Pokémon title that was big and fun – look away now, and rather live in a world where Black and White were the last adventures you took into the world of Pokémon.

At least until the next one comes along.

A world of Pokémon

Super Pokémon Rumble is the 3DS sequel to the WiiWare Pokémon Rumble that had the same premise: surprise! You’re not actually playing with Pokémon, but rather with wind-up toy versions of Pokémon – and everything happening in the game is presumably happening in the head of some tripped-out Poké-fan in a mental asylum somewhere.

While Black and White presented us with rather mature themes of destiny, freedom and good vs evil (albeit in a simple, charming manner) – Rumble takes things down to the basics with everything basically revolving around the Glowdrops, which give health to all the (not real) Pokémon, being stolen away – and tasking you to find out who’s doing it, and why.

So I guess it’s needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway) – Nintendo are aiming at the young’uns here.

Making friends

Rumble is essentially a button-masher. Once you have a Pokémon, you enter into different areas where you walk around smacking about other Pokémon, who come at you in bigger numbers. The KO’d Pokémon drop coins, which you can use to purchase some new abilities, or sometimes they drop, er, themselves – which allows you to “collect” them, and make them your friends – just like real life!

The game features 600 Pokémon, from all of the current generations, but simply put – you won’t really care by the end of it, because apart from moves being a bit different – hitting different ranges and areas – and the power levels increasing as you continue, you’re really just hitting the same two buttons throughout. As is the case with normal Pokémon games, different element types counter each other more or less effectively, so it’s like a game of rock-paper-scissors, where you constantly bash the rock into the scissors’ face.

And then steal the corpse and make it your friend.

You’ll constantly be dropping your “friends” because as you find new ones, the older, weaker ones are pretty much useless to you (again, like real-life). No matter how big your entourage is, if you let three of your critters get KO’d – it’s back to town for you, where you’ll have to start that zone all over again.

The game follows the same formula throughout – each area has different zones, and each zone has a number of segments and always ends with a boss fight. As long as you follow the linear route, though, you will “collect” enough friends at a sufficient power level to get through the stage, and by extension, the Rumble Arena.

The Rumble Area is the final zone before you move to the next area, and is one big free-for-all where you need to be the last man standing. The only difference in these battles is that you have to decide before-hand which of your friends you’re taking in with you.

It’s all incredibly simplistic, and that’s why you’ll likely be bored before long. In fact, I managed to finish half the game while doing other tasks – like brushing my teeth, painting my toe-nails and shaving my feet. Kids will likely be kept entertained for longer – but even they will probably get a bit bored with the samey-ness, and wander off to set something on fire.

Look about you

Luckily, the game also has lots of pretty colours – so it remains captivating for a few moments more than it should. The overhead view is a familiar angle for Pokémon players – but the gliding movement probably is not.

The different zones and areas, while simple, are varied – and the Pokémon themselves can be identified as individual types even though they’re a bit small on the map. When you see them up-close, though, they get a bit blocky and much uglier and, well, let’s just say if you were going to play Who’s that Pokémon? all the silhouettes would be Porygon.

Everything is identifiable, and never looks like a mess – even during the chaotic Rumble Arena matches; just a word of warning though, I’d recommend turning the 3D off when the screen gets busy – unless you’re into headaches and nausea, of course.

The music is as cheery as you’d expect, and the sound in general gives little to complain about; but maybe that’s because I never played the game in long-enough sessions for it to get to me.

‘Nuff said

Pokémon is huge – whether you like it or not. With fingers in every pie imaginable, known all over the world, Nintendo would be hard-pressed to struggle to sell a game that has the Pokémon brand slapped on top of it.

A pity, then, that Super Pokémon Rumble is just another game that strikes out into the realm of mediocrity – riding the wave of Pokémon fever, without capturing the same essence that makes the “main” titles so appealing. There’s no charm, no drive and no real motivation to do anything at all. All you have is a repetitive button-masher that will likely appeal more to kids who need their Pokémon fix over the holidays, than to a true Pokémon fan hanging on for the next big entry.