Painkiller: Hell & Damnation review (PC)

The 80s/90s child in me wanted to run around the room squealing relentlessly when I was given Painkiller to review; but the slightly-more cynical adult wondered if tacking on the HD label was Nordic Games’ way of flogging an already dying horse.

Since the count of Painkiller expansions/versions stands at thirteen, some would say that at this point, the horse is long gone and has reappeared as six tubes of Pritt, five genuine leather handbags, and two “Special Bulk Meat #3” meals to go.

Fortunately, the child wins today. Not only do the developers seem to be having a go at the HD label (it stands for Hell & Damnation – see what they did there?), but they’ve gone beyond my expectations and produced a game that I found to be a fun and interesting throwback to the old school FPS titles like Quake or Doom. Everything in this game screams “action first and plot later,” and really, that’s what we’re looking for in a senseless splatter-fest right?

Plot, what plot?

Our poor friend Daniel Garner is back in Purgatory and once again, bad things are happening. Of course, the Reaper himself comes to ask a favour of our hero and all he wants in exchange for taking Daniel to see his wife is 7000 souls. Throw in some semi-professional cut scenes and so-so voice acting and that pretty much wraps it up for the plot.

If you’re looking for a floral masterpiece of writing with compelling characters and perhaps an amusing sidekick, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Get your mince on

While the average FPS these days tends to demand a certain level of subtlety and a propensity to hide behind nearby rocks while plotting complex kills, Painkiller breaks the mould. While Half Life may have simplicity sewn up in the form of the crowbar, this game is for all those times you wished your chain gun had a mounted rocket launcher. Oh, and that your mega-saw-blade-firing gun had an optional “suck out their souls” extra.

Painkiller’s weapons are mostly faithful to the original, which means ludicrous, completely over-the-top and phenomenally efficient at turning thousands of flailing demons into so much Devilled Ham. The aforementioned “Soulcatcher” is also a welcomed addition to an already well-stocked arsenal.

Enemies spawn faster than ever and if you don’t find yourself standing in a corner redecorating the walls in delicate shades of intestine, you’re doing it all wrong.

Run. Just Run.

Much like the original Painkiller, the remake/revitalisation is just as fast. The pacing is very well balanced and as I zoomed through the levels decapitating, electrocuting, stabbing, dismembering and generally inconveniencing a selection of demons, mad monks and creepy little Pinocchio dolls, I wondered why all the other FPS titles slow everything down so much.

There are some elements that seek to shoehorn you back onto the plot train, but these can safely be treated as coffee breaks while you limber-up your wrist for the next frantic bout of shooting.

Something else

As a courtesy nod to immersion, H&D has the usual creepy atmospheric sounds. Although I found the new soundtrack by Ojo Rojo to be slightly less inspiring than its predecessor, it does the job well, even if that job is to warn you before tons of the evil dead are about to gnaw your head off.

The introduction of the Unreal Engine 3 to the equation has done a lot to bring Painkiller: HD in line with recent games, and although not much has changed in terms of actual quality of rendering, the ragdoll physics and flying limbs add a new degree of enjoyment to the game.

It’s possible that just before you smear them all over the landscape, you’ll notice the fresh meshing and shading that the enemy character models have been treated with.

Mayhem needs a friend

The entire game can now be played using a special co-op mode that will function either on local LAN or over the Internet. This won’t necessarily give the game increased replay value, but it promises to be a quick and fun way to kill a few hours. Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch and Capture the Flag all make triumphant returns.

The new Survival mode is great to test your skills as you prance your way through the limitless hordes, just to see just how long you can survive with a demon claw in your kidney.

The best Olympics

All in all, Painkiller: HD is like the best Olympics you’ll ever see. Imagine if Usain Bolt spent his whole career sprinting through complex and well rendered mazes slaughtering countless demons – that’s almost exactly what this game is like.

You’ll get exactly what you want – if what you’re looking for is a straight-up murderfest with a side of demon armies; and at around R170, it’s certainly cheap enough to warrant at least one play through.