I think with all things in life, ppl need to a find a balance.
For me, the most off putting thing is a "wimpy" nice guy who will do anything for me. That doesn't mean I go for assholes either.
When I see guys pampering their chicks, buying them gifts, baby talking *pukes*, laying their heart out and willing to put their own preferences on hold for a chick, it makes me sick. The manliness has been taken out of this poor sod and this chick deserves a klap for letting them keep doing it. The chick will then get used to this treatment and take advantage of it. It's a natural reaction.
This whole putting chicks on pedestals thing is guys fault and chicks fault. To gain someone's affection, it shouldn't be about buying their attention, because you will only get a fraction of it for a short time until the next one comes along with a better offer.
If you are yourself, and there is compromise between both of you and you both get fair equal treatment then things should work out. If you meet someone who refuses to compromise, then that is not the right person for you. (unless you get off on that type of thing) There are females out there that are decent and have been screwed over just as much by either too nice guys or assholes.
women in general don't know what they want, but there are a shit load of guys out there that give them what they think they want and it helps no-one. Either sex is not as fickle as you might think so just be honest and communicate and you will probably find things will work out for both of you.
I'm not talking about one nighters or just sex relationships obviously.