My dad died in July. Was difficult, especially since I wasn't able to be there.
How to deal with it? I don't think you do, I think you just get back into your routine and put it all to the side and deal with it (those thoughts and emotions) when you have a breather. And then, even when you think you've dealt with it and thinking about it all doesn't feel quite as raw any longer, when some daft part of you starts to think it's all getting better and maybe the doctors were wrong, some silly memory or sensation or thought strikes you and you're back to where you were.
Knowing that someone you love is dying eats you up and it eats them up too. But you can't do anything but watch and wait...
My dad was stubborn: gave the impression he was "meh" but fine until the last. In fact, his passing was so sudden nobody saw it coming. I spoke to him on Skype on the Wednesday--a day he was still running errands in town, checking the post, having a beer at the pub, speaking with friends, etc--that Friday doctors said he was dying and the following Wednesday morning, seven days after last talking to him, he was dead.
There's no useful advice anyone can give you, nothing that anybody can say but there is one thing that they can do and that is to just listen. Because talking about it is good, sharing your memories and feelings is good and it helps to bring a sense of closure and reassurance that you've said all you can to each other and that you don't have anything left unresolved.
But your mom is still alive and kicking yet, so while she can fight it, I say fight it. And support her and treat her like normal: as you say, make her laugh, tease her, fight with her, whatever just be normal.
It's difficult. I still have my mom, though I've come close to losing the silly old woman a few times over the years. I have to admit that I struggle to believe that I could cope should she die before I do. She's the kind of person who keeps you believing in the good inside people, makes you have faith in humanity, proud to be alive and all that jazz. Losing my dad was hell enough...
I dunno, I has teh morbs thinking about all this...
Just hold on, enjoy and cherish the time you have together and stay by her side through it all...
