Self sufficiency in today's youth and young adults

[MrG]

In the past people moved out, got married and lived fully fledged lives full of their own unique challenges just after high school and army training (for men).

Today the image seems to have changed slightly.

What in your mind is acceptable/targets for people aged in the ranges:
16 - 18
19 - 21
22 - 25
26 - 30
30+

Where should what responsibilities come into play. When should kids stop getting allowances, start earning their own money for parties, vehicles, petrol, medical aid, move out and such. When does (should) the parental assistance factor no longer play a role.

Keen to hear what is considered a defacto standard (or acceptable) and what is simply plain lazy.

 

[Dan]

IMHO you should be earning your own spending money in high school already. Nothing's stopping you from working a part-time job or two, especially when you start moving into your varsity years.

Once you're working I think it's selfish to keep sponging from your parents. Pay your own way and give them a break.

 

[symbolofmylife]

Where should what responsibilities come into play. When should kids stop getting allowances, start earning their own money for parties, vehicles, petrol, medical aid, move out and such. When does (should) the parental assistance factor no longer play a role.

Keen to hear what is considered a defacto standard (or acceptable) and what is simply plain lazy.

I'd say from as early as legally possible. The sooner a youngster learns to work for his/her own cash, the better.

I have to say it isn't always as easy but at least it will teach them the reap-and-sow equation.

I have a family member who's 28 who has not worked in the last 2 years. Just leeches off the parents. It's plain off-putting.

 

[sycogrim]

IMHO you should be earning your own spending money in high school already. Nothing's stopping you from working a part-time job or two, especially when you start moving into your varsity years.

Once you're working I think it's selfish to keep sponging from your parents. Pay your own way and give them a break.

In all fairness, I pay rent to my parents every month however I also still clean up the place when it needs to be done as though it was my own apartment etc... I think paying my way and helping around in general is the best way to go.

 

[Graal]

IMHO you should be earning your own spending money in high school already. Nothing's stopping you from working a part-time job or two

Except for the lack of actual jobs.

 

[Dan]

Except for the lack of actual jobs.

There are always jobs for waiters, salespeople and such. I worked two jobs simultaneously in high school and three simultaneously when I was at WITS so there really is no excuse. The split second I started working as an intern I moved out despite earning the handsome sum of R3500 a month and paying R1800 monthly towards my student loan. (Don't even ask how I afforded rent and food.)

I get really hacked off with freeloaders who live the good life while still mooching off their parents. I have a mate who's almost 30 and earning over R20k a month while still living for almost nothing with his ballies. His mom still makes him lunch to take to work every day and his biggest worry is the ridiculous car payments on his brand new (unnecessary) car.

Not cool.

 

[Fluffelana]

In my opinion, the sooner you start working the better - I started working as a waiter in school to pay for my stuff such as clothes, going out etc. the big stuff such as medical aid, school fees etc my parents paid.
there is nothing wrong with working one or two jobs while in school and studying to pay for stuff, it teaches u how to handle money and so on.

If your parents are in a position to help u financially and they are also willing, then go for it but that doesn't mean u can be a freeloader either or not work.

my experiences are that I had to work from age 15 to pay for my own stuff. I am now working in a permanent position but unfortunately don't earn enough to pay my own way 100% so my mom still helps me out with rent and car insurance etc. the rest I pay myself and I make a plan for. studies I paid for via a student loan that I am now paying off and while it's not easy every month, I manage and can still do stuff. I do pay my mom back as much as I can where I can and the rest I will do when I move on to my next job.

The reality these days is for most young people (age 22 or so) who have just finished studying are most likely to get a basic salary that will not come close to covering all the expenses and we have to rely on our families still.
life is expensive and employers just don't care and can get away with paying to nothing, and we put up with it as at least we have a job.


those who earn decent salaries and can afford to be self-sufficient then should be. there is no excuse for being a freeloader then as others have mentioned.

also there will always be a job if u look hard enough and u can always work as a waiter etc, it may not be what u want but if it pays the bills...

 

[DenSweeP]

As utterly wrong as it is to mooch off your folks, whether you have a job or not, it is in my opinion almost more wrong(delightful Engrish) of the parents to allow it. Parents enable this to happen and should realise they are not just spoiling their kids, but actually doing them harm in the long run.

 

[Ichigo]

I have 2 jobs but sadly one only pays R1200 and other pays R0 which is volutary work plus 1200 from disability fund, so I definitely can't cover all the bills.

So my mom helps me with accommodation and the rest of the things I can't pay for. I pay for her Adsl and Dstv.

 

[sycogrim]

I have 2 jobs but sadly one only pays R1200 and other pays R0 which is volutary work plus 1200 from disability fund, so I definitely can't cover all the bills.

So my mom helps me with accommodation and the rest of the things I can't pay for. I pay for her Adsl and Dstv.

Thats BS when it comes to disability funds, people should be earning the same salary as they were before shit hit the fan, it's always kak when you gotta live on a very low budget life...

 

[Ichigo]

Thats BS when it comes to disability funds, people should be earning the same salary as they were before shit hit the fan, it's always kak when you gotta live on a very low budget life...

I know makes me wonder how people with a whole family live with unemployment fund/disability fund. Can see why theres so many beggers and Car guards trying to make a living to cover the costs.

 

[OmegaFenix]

I finished School and went to the UK for 2 years. Best thing I ever did. Being so far from anybody that could help me forced me to grow up and stand on my own two feet.

My Wife did the opposite, she went o Uni after school and If i see the differences in our dependencies on our respective parents its shocking. Even if i look at both my younger brothers. IMO all kids should do a year or two abroad. Go out see the world, live in it, broaden their horizons a bit. Something that always fascinates/frustrates me is the utter lack of ambition in the youth, both my age (25) and younger. If I look at how many of the people I knew back in high school settled in the town they grew up in, married here, had/will have children here all I can do is go "WTF?" to me the idea of growing up, living and eventually dying in the same place is utterly boring. Yes after my two years I came back home but me and my wife always knew we would move away (internationally in our case) sooner or later.

 

[Tsar]

Yeah I am working at the moment on an independent project with two friends.
I help around my house look after my bro(which has helped my parents hugely)
I never ask for money.

 

[Graal]

There are always jobs for waiters, salespeople and such.

I call bullshit. I live in Stellenbosch, and finding a job here is like finding a R1 in Soweto. Most places either put your name on a waiting list spanning the globe, or downright tell you you're not getting a job in the next few years.

You can't even really work in the outlying towns, like Durbanville etc, because you've actually got to, you know, study and stuff. Driving around after jobs just to not 'freeload' off your parents is useless if you waste your money because you never have time to study. Besides, my parents told me they're willing to pay for all my studies, as long as I do good in them. I reckon they'd even discourage me from taking a part time job, simply because they'd prefer me to do the best I can so I have more opportunities once I graduate.

 

[Dan]

I call bullshit. I live in Stellenbosch, and finding a job here is like finding a R1 in Soweto. Most places either put your name on a waiting list spanning the globe, or downright tell you you're not getting a job in the next few years.

Well then I call laziness. I managed to work in both a bookshop and a coffee shop while at school and at WITS I worked as a tutor, a first-year lecturer and a video store slave after hours. I've also had a bunch of other jobs in between, so either you're not trying hard enough or there's something else holding you back. (You're not horribly disfigured or anything, right?)

I reckon they'd even discourage me from taking a part time job, simply because they'd prefer me to do the best I can so I have more opportunities once I graduate.

Sorry, but I heard that story a hundred times while at varsity, and working a few hours over the weekend or in the evenings ain't gonna kill you. In fact, a mate of mine graduated cum laude in civil engineering and he worked through his entire university career. I understand some people work differently, have different levels of coping, etc. but IMHO if you can't handle a measly part-time job while studying then you're going to have a hard time dealing with real-world work demands once you graduate.

To each their own I suppose, but as Omega says there's an incredible amount of value to be had in learning to work for your own supper.

Oh, and good job on the racist remark, it says plenty about your level of maturity.

 

[Graal]

Edit: Also, queue corny violin music to start after the second quote.

Well then I call laziness. I managed to work in both a bookshop and a coffee shop while at school and at WITS I worked as a tutor, a first-year lecturer and a video store slave after hours.

So just because you had multiple jobs at Wits a few years ago, you're assuming jobs are just as abundant at Stellenbosch a few years down the line?

Sorry, but I heard that story a hundred times while at varsity, and working a few hours over the weekend or in the evenings ain't gonna kill you. In fact, a mate of mine graduated cum laude in civil engineering and he worked through his entire university career. I understand some people work differently, have different levels of coping, etc. but IMHO if you can't handle a measly part-time job while studying then you're going to have a hard time dealing with real-world work demands once you graduate.

So far I've been working at my dad's company just about every holiday since December. Not paltry jobs either, everything the appies have to do, I do with them. In fact, more often than not, I have to do it for them. He works in the lifting equipment industry, so that includes inspecting lifting equipment, helping repair and service lifting equipment such as the goods cranes at the waste disposal sites (where I was forced to forget about my terrible fear of heights by being forced to climb up and down that tiny little ladder all the 40 metres up the crane multiple times). Half my time while working there is spent working with their biolermaker, and the other half is usually spent going on site to with inspections and repairs. Worst was the three days me and one of the guys had to go visit most of the sewage processing plants. I'd take the 40m climbs before I go walk around the zeekoevlei plant again. :/

Point being, I know how to work. It's exactly the fact that the working world sucks so much that's got me up off my ass after I didn't get enough credits to go back to Stellenbosch. It's also the reason I'm swotting at two institutions this year so I work my way back into Stellenbosch. I'm studying my ass off to make up for the hurt I caused my parents when I dropped out of Varsity last year. For once, when my dad saw my progress report card he told me he was actually geniunely proud of e, because he could see that for once, I'm giving it my best. I don't need some elitist guy on a totally random gaming forum telling me 'haha u suk because you don't have part time job'. So, you held down multiple jobs while studying. Good for you. It's not necessary to look down on anyone for not doing the same.

Oh, and good job on the racist remark, it says plenty about your level of maturity.

lol racist card lollos

 

[Dan]

So just because you had multiple jobs at Wits a few years ago, you're assuming jobs are just as abundant at Stellenbosch a few years down the line?

No, I didn't say that at all. My point was that if I can beg and plead until someone gave me a job then so can you. If you absolutely must compare apples with apples though perhaps I should mention my ex-girlfriend currently studying in Cape Town who works as both a waitress and a guitar teacher? Perhaps such jobs aren't right for your situation though (as noted in my "I understand some people work differently" comment), but it's a sweeping generalisation to say that there are no jobs.

I don't need some elitist guy on a totally random gaming forum telling me 'haha u suk because you don't have part time job'. So, you held down multiple jobs while studying. Good for you. It's not necessary to look down on anyone for not doing the same.

I assumed you were among the group of people who claim they don't want to work because they're focusing on their studies; apologies if that seemed like a harsh generalisation. I did say "I understand some people work differently, have different levels of coping" as well as "to each their own" though so don't get your unemployed panties in a bunch, mate

lol racist card lollos

Haha, yeah, racism is hilarious.

 

[anon815]

Its a hard question to answer because it really depends on your home situation:

1. On one hand some parents can't afford to send kids to college etc. and some ppl put themselves through college and a big personal ups to them. Mega respect.
2. There's the middle ground where parents can afford to send kids off to college - IMO this is what most parents aim for anyways but they must keep this to a minimum - i.e. get your degree in the minimum time and get the hell on with your life.
3. Lastly there's the people who are well off and parents have no problem with kids sponging off them.

Sure, life's unfair but you can't judge people's lifestyle without considering their background. If I was born a billionaire with enough cash to last my family the next 5 generations.. fuck work. I'm gona go enjoy life

 

[sycogrim]

I don't need some elitist guy on a totally random gaming forum telling me 'haha u suk because you don't have part time job'. So, you held down multiple jobs while studying. Good for you. It's not necessary to look down on anyone for not doing the same.

I beg to differ that point, because in actual fact he is neither directly pointing out the fact that you suck nor is it an indirect derogatory comment. He is simply stating that like most of us walking out of studying into the working world never was and never will be easy, however you do have to make a plan to work your ass off to get to the top. I am now an IT Manager and I worked 9 hard years to get to where I am. I can't say that I haven't slacked off but I have to be fair, however I started at the bottom as someone who was only able to do the basics of my job even though I knew I was capable of so much more, but I stuck with it and I never let anyone bring me down.

People are lazy because they choose to be and not because they are forced to, I take street beggers for example, they should work for the money they would like instead of begging daily for it on the side of the road.

I've worked 2 jobs at once while I was working my way up the corporate ladder and I did it without a matric, however I did achieve my CCNA. I worked as a junior call centre agent as well as a waiter at a portugese place for a year almost 7 days a week and I had to fight back many emotions because I knew what I had to do and I knew how I was going to achieve that.

So that's my opinion on the matter.

 

[Graal]

Yeah, it might be a sweeping generalization to say their is no work, but it's a certainty that it is very scarce, seeing as Stellenbosch has about 22k students at the university alone, not counting the colleges and other tertiary insititutions dotted around here. With a lot of the students having more or less the same idea, you can imagine it's scarce, unless you create a job for yourself, like giving Guitar lessons, or another type of job you can do from home.

Don't get me wrong, though, I wouldn't mind having a bit of extra spending money, but I have to be realistic as well. Studying at the college I'm at, as well as doing my course at Unisa isn't going to be a walk in the park, so it would have to be something casual, like working at a bookstore. That way I would still have time to study while working. Unfortunately, though, most places like that already have enough staff and place people on waiting lists that span books. Maybe waitering or something similar will have more openings, but I haven't asked around for that this year, because I was told there's no available jobs for a long time when I asked around last year. In retrospect, though, that might have had more to do with the fact that I was a first year and most people don't trust first years as much.

I can totally understand where you're coming from when you say the faster you learn to stand on your own feet, the better, but I don't think it's the case for everybody. Sure, some people need a kick on the arse and a honest days work to show them the ropes. Most of the 'slapgatte' just sponging off their parents while not appreciating what their parents do for them are shocked into real life once they graduate and realise what everything they took for granted really costs. A bit of hard work to sustain themselves can certainly do them much good.

Haha, yeah, racism is hilarious.

I didn't actually mean my comment racist. I could just as well have said Ruiterwacht, because I was referring to a poor community, not anything racial related. I admit, it was probably in poor taste, though.

Either way, I should probably take a break from the internet for today. I've been agitated all day long, and I'm posting way more agressive than I intended.