the JOKE thread
- Thread starter wizdumb
- Start date
Wenzdayz
Thread Killer Mk III
There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha
B
BlaQ_PhoeniX1
Guest
STRAIGHT TALK!
i think some of you guys got this in an email... i just had to post this i laughed hard at this
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5.00 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
a reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said:
'Next year tell Santa;
The d!ck goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!
i think some of you guys got this in an email... i just had to post this i laughed hard at this
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5.00 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
a reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said:
'Next year tell Santa;
The d!ck goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!
Raven Gold
Local Boy Hunter
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
--------------------
They were together in the house. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong
appearance... and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.
Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out...
She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering, he didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on...
They knew it was wrong...
Their families would never understand...
So consumed were they in their FEAR that they heard no opening of doors...
just the faint click of a camera......
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
--------------------
They were together in the house. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong
appearance... and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.
Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out...
She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering, he didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on...
They knew it was wrong...
Their families would never understand...
So consumed were they in their FEAR that they heard no opening of doors...
just the faint click of a camera......
Last edited:
shadowfox
Anime Junkie
A young bride-to-be once visited her doctor with a particular problem - the problem being that she was no longer a virgin, something hubby-to-be didn't know about. The doctor, unfortunately told her there was nothing he could do.
"But doc," she wails. "I can't tell him - he'll be so upset, and he's sure to find out on our wedding night."
The doctor thought for a bit and said: "Okay, here's what you do. Take an elastic band to bed with you that night, and then, at the very moment your husband pushes in, snap the elastic, and when he asks what it is, tell him it's your virginity snapping."
Not perfect, but our blushing bride accepted the advice and departed the doc's office. Soon the expected night arrived, and the bride had her elastic band ready. The new bride and groom hopped into bed, excited of course, and things followed their pre-destined course, and finally the moment arrived. Hubby pushed, Bride snapped - there was a moment of silence, and Hubby screamed "WHAT THE F&3K WAS THAT?!?!".
"Calm down honey, it was just my virginity snapping."
"Well snap it again!!" Hubby shrieked. "It's got me by the balls!!!!".
"But doc," she wails. "I can't tell him - he'll be so upset, and he's sure to find out on our wedding night."
The doctor thought for a bit and said: "Okay, here's what you do. Take an elastic band to bed with you that night, and then, at the very moment your husband pushes in, snap the elastic, and when he asks what it is, tell him it's your virginity snapping."
Not perfect, but our blushing bride accepted the advice and departed the doc's office. Soon the expected night arrived, and the bride had her elastic band ready. The new bride and groom hopped into bed, excited of course, and things followed their pre-destined course, and finally the moment arrived. Hubby pushed, Bride snapped - there was a moment of silence, and Hubby screamed "WHAT THE F&3K WAS THAT?!?!".
"Calm down honey, it was just my virginity snapping."
"Well snap it again!!" Hubby shrieked. "It's got me by the balls!!!!".
morganzola
New member
and here's a prank call made by Darren at ECR to some poor brit...
http://www.ecr.co.za/kagiso/content...il&pid=490476&The-football-hooligan-scam-call
http://www.ecr.co.za/kagiso/content...il&pid=490476&The-football-hooligan-scam-call
wizdumb
New member
Fred asked his wife Mary if she would go to Builders Warehouse and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the employee to finish serving a customer,
her eye caught a beautiful bathroom tap set.
When the employee was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that tap set?"
The employee replied, "That's a gold plated tap set and the price is R4999.00
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive tap set. It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The employee said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the employee yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the tap set."
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the employee to finish serving a customer,
her eye caught a beautiful bathroom tap set.
When the employee was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that tap set?"
The employee replied, "That's a gold plated tap set and the price is R4999.00
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive tap set. It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The employee said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the employee yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the tap set."
Raven Gold
Local Boy Hunter
Amazingly simple home remedies:
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be too afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be too afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
Raven Gold
Local Boy Hunter
Daniel-san. You mus F.O.C.U.S 
