Saint_Dee
The Phantom Poet
Dear Employees,
It has come to managements' attention that we live in a very magical world. The Domestos which the company buys to clean has grown legs and walked away. We cannot find Domestos anywhere! We are very concerned about Domestos, it's a vicious world out there and he is safer in the cupboard.
As with Domestos, Hand Wash has grown wings and most probably flown out of the window. We ask you to exercise caution in the bathroom, as we have no idea where Hand Wash is. It might attack if provoked. Please be vigilant and on the lookout for Hand Wash!
In the Company we have many knifes, but all the forks and spoons have gone missing, this is the biggest mystery of all. We have come to the conclusion that the forks and spoons are attempting a coup. This is very concerning to management, we are an IT company and cannot spend our days strategising a defense against cutlery. If cutlery is spotted in the wild, capture it and throw it into cutlery jail (the cupboard). If we capture all of them we might just make it through this uncertain period of time.
Lastly there are employees who are using the outside ashtrays as garbage dumps. The conclusion to be drawn from this action is that there are pyromaniacs among us. We cannot fall into anarchy! We must put the garbage in the dustbins and the cigarette butts in the ashtray.
Regards,
Your ever concerned for your safety Management team.
I'm laughing so hard right now, tears are rolling down