Fruit Ninja Kinect review

Fruit Ninja Kinect is a game about chopping fruit. See, there’s this fruit. And you chop it. That’s pretty much it.

It’s a dramatic, perhaps even rebellious departure from the conventional video game paradigm of shooting stuff, and as such, I think this review should follow a similar trend.

Time: 19:32
Alcohol consumption: 1 shot whiskey

So, basically, the big idea is that fruit is launched from some machine off-screen, presumably a gigantic catapult hooked up to a team of komodo dragons and operated by a rival ninja clan or something, and your mission is to slash it into bits before it tumbles out of sight. Bonus points are awarded for slashing multiple pieces of fruit with a single strike, and special game effects are activated by hitting the occasional neon banana.

Every now and then, a bomb is included in the salvo of pineapples and kiwis and coconuts and other 5-a-days, and accidentally slashing this thing means it’s game over.

All of this fruit slashing business is accomplished via the Magic! of Kinect, which puts you right into the game in the shape of your very own silhouette on the chopping block. It’s actually a rather ingenious bit of design, as your hand placement is immediately obvious – a feature conspicuously, and somewhat inscrutably, absent in most Kinect titles.

The game includes several single- and multiplayer modes, including Classic, Arcade, Zen, and Challenge, as well as competitive and cooperative options. It goes for 800 Microsoft Points on XBLA.

Time: 19:56
Alcohol consumption: 2 shots whiskey, half a beer

The tracking is very responsive and actually quite accurate for teh most part, with not much discernible lag, although something spazzed out during one round, and the camera seemed to be confusing my hansd and knees. Seemed to work itself out the next time around, though.

In Classic mode, you chop fruit and score as many points as possible until you drop trhee pieces or bomb out. It’s kinda fun, brb.

Time: 20:16
Alcohol consumption: 3 shots whiskey, one beer

Lol, I keeep missing my target score by liek 100 points. Damn it> Brb.

Time: 20:28
Alcholol consdmption: 4 shots whisket, one beer, half a glasas fo red wine

k, cHallenge mode can get stufffed, Im’ doing Zen now. You hav 90 seconsd to jsut chop fruit and theres no bombs beacuase bombs are hsit. LOL

Tiem: 20:50
Alchhol conthing: more than befoer,I forgt to count

im so depreesed right now. YOu know, he said hed. wait. I forgo twhat i was goign to say. Ohyeah, still busy wit hmy Furit Kinect Ninja reveiw. I forgot what i was goin gt o wriet, htouhg. I think im goin to thhrow up brb