I’ve managed to avoid doing the girl gamer thing forever. I daresay that, even after three and something years of doing this gaming journalism stuff, some of my readers probably still assume I’m a dude. I think even the phrase “girl gamer” is pointlessly divisive – guys, girls, we’re all just gamers, really. Let’s get on with it.
And we probably would if it weren’t for patronising, farcical marketing campaigns like Sony’s latest for the new PSP. It’s marketed exclusively for girls (or “girlz”, because Sony’s got people on the inside of postmodern pop culture, and they want you to know it) because it’s purple. Actually, it’s not – purple might still be sort of cool in a hot retro Purple Tentacle sort of way, but this thing is one of those insipid, barren shades of post-purple that girls are supposed to like. It’s lilac, the colour purple goes to when it dies. If colours are metaphors, it’s really rather appropriate.
Anyway, they’ve got an advert page up promoting this monstrosity, showing a bunch of teenage girls (girlz) sitting around, giggling demurely because that’s what girls (girlz) spend all their time doing, under the baleful gaze of a huge block capital slogan “OMG LILAC PSP”. Apparently Sony’s people on the inside have been doing most of their work on IRC.
There’s also a link to “PSP games for girlz”, providing an invaluable, quick check reference resource just in case prospective buyers couldn’t figure it out for themselves. Apparently, according to this guide, LocoRoco 2, Patapon, and the Hannah Montana Rock Out Show are games for girls (girlz). And all this time I’ve been burdened by the delusion that LocoRoco 2 and Patapon were for anyone, and Hannah Montana is ****.
The advert also claims the PSP is “HOW GIRLZ PLAY”, because it’s all about featuring Skype and photo albums. Because that’s how girls (girlz) play. Without actually, you know, playing much. Everyone knows girls (girlz) just want to sit around chatting and looking at pictures of each other. Hey, this reminds me of an old joke – ten 45-year old men walk into a bar … and design this advert.
In the meantime, I’m off to grind out another rank in Gears of War 2.
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