This Sunday is Father’s Day (if you didn’t know) and gaming is definitely not without its fair share of dads.

We could always list the good dads out there in the gaming world and make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy, but really, we want you to truly appreciate your father this Father’s Day, and what better way to do that than to show how good you actually have it!

Got daddy issues? Was your dad emotionally unavailable? Perhaps a bit busy or absent altogether? Well, we can almost guarantee that your dad will deserve his World’s Best Dad mug and cotton socks after this; let’s take a look at some of gaming’s worst fathers.

Bowser (Super Mario)

Bowser is a dad! Apart from fathering Bowser Jnr., he’s probably also the pappy of the Koopalings – but perhaps thinking that Bowser could get lucky more than once is a bit of a stretch (unless you’re into that kind of thing).

Bowser is a bad father for a lot of reasons. Firstly, he’s not very huggable and doesn’t look very affectionate (it’s the spikes and sharp teeth, mostly). Then of course there’s that little habit he has of kidnapping women.

He’s always travelling all over the world, and choosing flying warships as his preferred mode of transport. He lives in castles full of traps, ghosts and lava and- look, this just isn’t an appropriate environment in which to raise kids.

Then of course there’s his drugged-up nemesis Mario who’s always coming in and breaking the place apart.

Bowser’s bad habits and dangerous lifestyle created such a negative influence on Bowser Jnr. that no one was surprised when his young’un started doing exactly the same thing…

For shame.

Laguna Loire (Final Fantasy VIII)

Though never said explicitly, Laguna Loire from Final Fantasy VIII is actually moody, broody Squall’s daddy. He’s a nice guy, mind you, always trying to help and going out of his way to stage a coup d’etat to gain control of the most advanced nation in the world.

He’s a good guy – but a crappy father.

Taking “absent father” to a whole new level, while Laguna crosses the world to rescue a kidnapped girl called Ellone, he leaves his pregnant wife/fiancée back in their one-horse town.

She then gives birth – and he’s not there.

Then she dies – and he’s not there.

Then, after Laguna saves Ellone, he slams her into an orphanage with Squall and goes off to play president – which results in his only son becoming a social recluse with deep-rooted trust issues and a penchant to respond to everything with “whatever”.

Not that he would know or care – as soon as he meets his son 18 years later, he initiates a plan to send him 1000 years into the future.

Absent father, indeed.

William Birkin (Resident Evil)

It’s always unfortunate when dad has to work late to put food on the table – but then, most dads aren’t busy ‘at work’ developing a highly contagious virus that mutates DNA and turns people into zombies and monsters.

William Birkin is the man behind the G-Virus – a different form of Umbrella’s T-Virus which turned that one mansion into a zombie hotel. When Umbrella came to take the G-Virus away from Birkin, and shot him up in the process, he sort of infected himself with the virus, turning him into this:

Oh, and he then released the T-Virus into Raccoon City as a result.

Working on a highly-dangerous virus makes Birkin a bad father in itself (why would you want to put something like that in a world where your child lives?) – releasing it into the world escalates it a bit.

Then of course there’s the fact that it was apparently bring your sweet little girl to work day at the time as well, because his daughter, Sherry, quickly finds herself in the thick of zombies, death and sharp teeth.

Good going, monster dad.

Leonard Wolf (Silent Hill)

Children are so impressionable, and having a good father to direct you down the right pathways in life is a big help when finding a moral compass.

So when it comes to barefoot and black-robed cult leader, Claudia Wolf in Silent Hill 3, it’s safe to assume that something went awry. The man to blame would be her dear old dad, Leonard Wolf.

See, Leonard’s main problem was that he was part of this little group called “The Order” which has its collective mind set on bringing their god into the real world through sacrificial rebirth and whatnot.

So let’s face it, Leonard wasn’t really all there to begin with. It doesn’t help, then, that he was also really abusive and actually so insane that the Order itself thought it best he be stripped of his position in the cult and locked away.

With a dad like that, is it any wonder that the creepy Claudia wanders around saying things like “you will lead us to paradise with blood-stained hands”? And ingesting foetuses that were vomited out. And trying to birth a god through murdering lots of people.

Bad parenting. Always.

Heihachi Mishima (Tekken)

It’s one thing being a bad father – but when your neglect and abuse extends across generations, you’ve got to top the list of worst fathers. Heihachi Mishima is not only the worst father on this list, he’s also the worst grandfather, having terrorized his son, Kazuya, and his grandson, Jin.

Heihachi started off his questionable parenting tactics by throwing Kazuya into a ravine when he was 10, you know, to harden him up a bit. Kazuya survived by making a deal with the Devil, locking within him the Devil Gene and the way to exact revenge upon his father.

My dad threw me into a pool once. It was really cold ;_;

Heihachi also adopted another son so he could create conflict and competition between the two boys, and eventually started up the King of Iron Fist Tournament to test Kazuya after he returned from world-wide travels featuring constant fighting.

Yup, the tournament around which Tekken revolves, started off as nothing more than a dad’s way of seeing his own son getting beaten up.

Eventually, after losing to his son, and then defeating him again, he decides to throw him into a volcano. For warmth.

If that’s not enough, Heihachi then also gains the trust of Kazuya’s son, Jin, and ultimately uses and betrays him to unlock the Devil Gene inside the fighter, so that he can use it as the catalyst to merge his DNA the immortal Ogre.

So to summarise – threw his son off a cliff, then into a volcano, then tried to kill his own grandson so he can become an immortal giant demon abomination.

Dad of the year?

Dishonourable mentions: Kratos (God of War); Ethan Mars (Heavy Rain); James (Fallout 3)

Can you think of any other horrible dads in gaming? Share your tales of troubled pappies and what makes them the worst on the forums or in the comments below.

Related Articles

Father’s day gaming gifts

5 worst moms in gaming

5 gaming curses that will make you a believer

Forum discussion