Being a serious gaming type isn’t just about picking up a controller for a few hours each day, it’s a way of life.
Below are some products that you just might need to bring you ever closer to gaming nirvana.
Power Pyramid Supreme – click me
Starting with something practical – since your console(s) are probably the centre of your life and home, why not dress the place up with this stylish Power Pyramid? No more snaking cables everywhere, the Power Pyramid is practical when in use, and art-deco when diligently waiting to serve its purpose.
Heat sensitive classic arcade themed mugs – click me
All real gamers drink any number of hot caffeinated elixirs throughout their waking hours, giving them the required chemical boost for pwning n00bs. Pay homage to the gaming gods of old with these retro arcade inspired coffee mugs that react to the warmth of your chosen remedy.
NES coffee table – click me
Of course you’ll need somewhere to put your totally awesome coffee mug, and what better place than your own custom built Nintendo controller coffee table and storage system. The best thing of all, the controller is fully functional. Probably best to commission someone who has handled a power tool before to get this DIY project done, whilst you concentrate on thwarting the minions of hell, surviving Zombie Nazi attacks, and saving the known universe from utter destruction.
Arm Sleeper’s Pillow – click me
Dedicated LAN gamers often push themselves to the ragged edge of endurance, ultimately resulting in a sudden and unavoidable biological systems crash. For those that fall asleep at their gaming stations, either from dedication or lack of alternative sleeping facilities, the Arm Sleeper’s Pillow actually seems rather practical. Support the bulk of your sleeping form by splaying your arm across the table, avoid immediate neck ache, and postpone visits to the chiropractor by a few more years.
Clocky the runaway alarm clock – click me
Eventually the grim reality of holding down an IRL job will always present itself, and in this case a gamer’s best friend is an effective alarm clock. With Clocky in the house, you may never be late again – hit the snooze button, and Clocky sets off, forcing the dozing gamer to drag themselves out of bed and set off in hot pursuit of the mischievous little bugger as he whittles away at your sleep deprived psyche through incessant beeping.
8-bit soap – click me
Gamers do maintain minimal levels of personal hygiene – but perhaps some retro style 8-bit cartridge soap with make shower time more fun? Work yourself into a minty-lime lather with these full size replica’s of SNES cartridges. The same soap manufacturer also produces d20 dice soap-on-a-roap – just don’t roll a 1.
Defendius Door Chain – click me
Arising from the couch to answer a knock on the door is always a rude interruption of your escapism. Thankfully, with the Defendius Door Chain, opening the door can be turned into an amusing mini-game – kind of like playing Bejeweled while travelling in WoW, but not.
Steve Jobs Cheese Head – click me
Even a gamer has to entertain company once in a blue moon, and what better way to entertain (and hopefully discourage further game-intruding visits) than with a Steve Jobs cheese head? Whether you love him or hate him, it’s probably a win-win communal food source.
Xbox 360 RRoD coffin – click me
Sometimes a loved one unexpectedly leaves us and moves on to the great video arcade in the sky. Since Xbox 360’s seem to be genetically predisposed to RRoD syndrome, the least you can do is prepare for in advance for the inevitable, and send your once stalwart gaming companion off in style.
Rosetta Stone Memorial – click me
Whilst the Xbox 360 memorial service is bound to be a tearful and memorable affair, you still don’t want to be outdone by your console companion, do you? With Rosetta Stone, you can ensure that for the next 3 200 years, anyone who cares to walk past your grave will be able to view some icon’s indicating at which particular mindless tasks you excelled, a picture of your pale, sun-deprived and listless form, and read up to 1000 words of a eulogy, probably ranting about how that cheese from the Steve Jobs platter was the cause of your demise.
The best bit is that you won’t even have to work a 3 200 year clause into the maintenance contract on your family lot, as there are no batteries – the device is powered by the magnetic fields of passing cellphones. Perhaps serving the Steve Jobs cheese head at the wake won’t encourage people to make future visits to the site…
Got any other awesome items to share? Let us know in the forums
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