Diablo III survival guide – MyGaming edition

The long-awaited Diablo III recently launched around the globe and in between all the demon slaying and tears shed over server troubles, MyGaming found time to celebrate with a fun Diablo III competition.

This is how the competition worked:

You are sitting at your desk at home, browsing the MyGaming forum, when suddenly the newswires come alive with news that the rising powers of the Burning Hells have once again plunged the mortal realm into chaos.

You knew this day was coming…

You only have time to pack 5 items into your survival bag, before fleeing before the coming darkness, hopefully to live another day and take your stand with the rest of humanity.

Which 5 items do you pack? You can be as serious or as wacky and funny as you like. This is your entry into the competition.

With the stage set, let’s just say things got interesting…

We’ve sifted through the stacks of survival plans put forth by our dedicated members, and pulled the best of the best out (and some which we were rather skeptical about) in order to give you some ideas, if the Armageddon does ever arise.

Thanks to all of those who entered and put in such an effort. We hope that your bizarre, yet maybe useful items come in handy when you’re toe-to-toe with the Lord of Terror himself, Diablo. To see the full hilarious and wacky list head on over to MyGaming competition forum.

Also, if you’re keen on taking on the demonic hordes with some fellow MyGaming members, head on over to the MyGaming Battle Tag thread.

Murph – Comic relief

Survival probability: The funny guy always makes it to the end, but never gets the girl.

	1. A Swiss Cavalry Sword – Light, deadly and light. And deadly.
	2. Snack – For obvious reasons. I was going to say health food but I’ll probably die soon anyway.
	3. Toilet paper – Soft and thoroughly absorbing.
	4. A diary for my thoughts – “Day 12: Should have brought a pen.”
	5. Satellite phone – You guys really think you’re going to get proper reception?

Malice – Cholesterol charged memetic warrior

Survival probability: Over 9000.

	1. BACON! ‘Cause everything is better with bacon.
	2. Some music to slaughter to.
	3. A transvestite donkey witch, to distract and confuse the hellish horde.
	4. An arrow, for their knees.
	5. A super soaker (filled with the holiest of waters of course) to finish off the bastard spawn of Baal.

Vixe – Paranoid Hitch-hiker’s Guide to being a basement dweller

Survival probability: Rock bottom.

	1. Towel.
	2. Bong.
	3. Music and headphones.
	4. LMG.
	5 . Fleshlight… “I’m honest.”

panthis – There is always hope…

Survival probability: They’ll identify him through dental records.

	1. Gears of War Lancer.
	2. Bear Grylls Survival Manual.
	3. Tooth brush.
	4. Trusty iPhone for seeing how everyone else is surviving as well as listening to Thunderstruck by AC/DC while slaying the denizens of hell.
	5. A qyoot little kitteh to remind me that the world isn’t all dark and scary.

The Joker – Where it all began

Survival probability: His tomb shall read: “The OP”.

	1. Torch from Alan wake: Seems to hurt all things dark and seeing as the Evil in Diablo III is dark I think this will be quite important. Also good for blinding other players… erm, I mean people.
	2. A pack of fresh white socks: Can be used to keep feet warm and snug, can also be used for entertaining myself, turning them into sock puppets. Can also be used to gag other people…
	3. My wrist gun watch: Looks bad ass, and I can tell the time while shooting demons in the face. Can’t beat that.
	4. Diablo III Book of Cain: Good for reading and teaching me about the evil that lies ahead. Also great for holding down a stack of papers.
	5. Full size Lego Star Wars helmet: Good for looking awesome. Looking awesome while kicking ass is seriously important!