2013 is giving us some high-class games (so far), but behind every shiny curtain there are often those games that we can’t ignore.
So before we embrace the triple-A nature of The Last of Us, GTA V, and AC4, let’s look at some of the games that shouldn’t even exist.
Chemical Spillage Simulator
From the ingenious minds that brought you Street Cleaning Simulator comes the next-generation of simulation games, Chemical Spillage Simulator.
Why enjoy all the fun of real-life cleaning, when you can do it all virtually, as you will be required to clean up hazardous and toxic chemical spills.
Cleaning up (even awesome and dangerous chemicals) is never fun, no matter how pretty the graphics its wrapped-in, which by the way, are pretty terrible in this case.
While assassinations are the “in” thing in gaming these days, real-life historical recreations are not exactly acceptable.
JFK: Reloaded lets users play as Lee Harvey Oswald, and they are scored according to how accurately the assassination is recreated.
The developers even promised up to $100,000 for the gamer who could get the closest recreation of the killing. Seems like all morals went out the window with JFK: Reloaded.
Soda Drinker Pro
If you’ve been missing out on the latest FPS (first-person soda), then Soda Drinker Pro is exactly what you’ve been looking for.
Developed in one day, Soda Drinker Pro simulates real-life drinking, with the most intuitive control scheme ever.
The mouse is used to look around the simulation. The left mouse button places the soda onto the players mouth, while the right mouse button sips the soda. The soda has to be at the players mouth for the soda to be sipped. There is a soda meter in the upper left hand corner of the game that measures the amount of soda left in the players cup.
Japan never fails to surprise, and Hatoful Boyfriend is pretty much the weirdest thing ever made.
The game is essentially a dating sim, where you take control of a human school girl, but instead of mingling and flirting with boys, you hit it off with pigeons.
Players need to attend various classes in order to increase different stats, which will then assist in the bird/human dating process.
If there was ever a game that shouldn’t exist, it would probably be Postal 3.
The game was outsourced to Russian developer Akella, and after the broken and shameless disaster was released, even series creators Running With Scissors said that the game is “a broken mess [that] should not be sold.”
While some people will probably hit out and say “but it was fun”, and sure, some of the ridiculous jokes are mildly amusing, but the sheer lack of polish and terrible mechanics and controls means it shouldn’t have existed in the first place.